Swearing is sinful (series)
by nomuhikaru
Summary: Okita Sougo's POV. Before they could even fully acknowledge each other's true feelings, there was this one thing that blocked between the both of them – unrequited love.


**You may read "Swearing is sinful" (main story) in my Tumblr account:** **asian (dash) beauty (dash) samurai . tumblr .com.** **Take note it is rated R-18.**

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 **Turtle shell (prequel 1)**

China was too focused on her reflection on the calm river she jolted from her squat position the moment she heard me. Oh, I would have laughed hard if she fell down the river right in front of us during the course of her surprised reaction. Instead, her head upturned, stared daggers at me.

I was beside her. Standing. Came out of nowhere. At least in china's point of view.

"It's just you sadist!? What are you doing here!? Stalking me, yes!?"

This girl never ceased to amaze me, honestly.

"In your dreams china. A sadist never lays his eyes on kittens." Grinning down to her with wicked pride. "I am the one being looked upon for your information."

"Then what are you doing here!? Don't disturb me, yes!? Go away! Shoo-shoo!"

"I'm the one who wants to ask you _that._ What is a certain china girl clad in red doing here in the morning? Even the sun hasn't fully risen yet. Are you plotting something?"

Just by seeing her here at the same spot where I usually spend my mornings… formed a stupid sensation tickled my stomach. I wanted to convince myself I was rather feeling like taking a dump before going out of the Shinsengumi HQ. Except I already took a dump before going out. For once I wanted to tell myself, today will no longer be filled with an all-day boring patrol as china-

W-well china kinda entertains me. Actually this was one of the days I wanted to see her in complete defeat. Maybe today was one of those days I could finally revenge at the the things she had done to me with one blow.

Yes, that should be it. This very day had been granted to me. Does god love me today?

This time she rolled her eyes and looked away. Ignored me, but still heard her mumbled, "You don't care."

This girl doesn't even have an inkling how to respect a police officer. If god didin't grant me kindness, I already arrested her. Don't fucking care if _danna_ in rage will come to the HQ.

"Wait china. Don't tell me you wanna see someone on the reflection this early morning? I heard rumors about this certain river being mystical. That you will see your future love partner during dawn."

It was so sudden she tried to kick me from _that_ squat position using her left foot; though I could have tripped or got hit if I didn't dodge.

"Whoa. Girlish china makes me wanna puke. But that's a good blackmail, you, wanting to have a boyfriend, that is.

She pulled her leg back; I didn't miss to witness her pale face turned beet red before averting, and watched her reflection on the river as she pouted.

I lowered my head enough so she could hear my whisper. "Well, who do you want to see on the reflection?"

"Why would I tell you!?"

"Just curious~" I crossed my arms and stretched my spine as the morning wind passed by. This was it. The time I could take revenge, at least, with a blackmail. Or something that's far greater than that. "You don't need to tell the name. Something vague about that person will do."

"Fine. It's not like an idiot can ever tell who's who."

"Don't underestimate the sadist's I.Q."

She picked up a pebble in which it plopped as she threw on the water. The ripples distorted her reflection. "Actually, all I wanted for him was to look at me not as his daughter, but as a woman. I don't know but… fatherly care pains me sometimes… knowing the feelings won't go beyond."

Heh… I see, so you actually have feelings for…

 _…pains me sometimes… knowing the feelings won't go beyond._

It was cold. What morning wind left was cold.

That could be the reason why I was twitching in an odd way.

No. Actually it made me remember…

The same sensation when I found out Hijikata-san dumped _onee-san…_

… and Kondo-san has chosen Hijikata-san over me.

I was defeated again?

This time, by another person though.

I knew it's impossible she'll fall for me. But why do I keep hoping?

It hurt.

My heart made out of turtle shell had a crack for the third time.

China, I wanted to cry. But will something change if I do? Will I ever hear you call _my_ name if I do?

God, you hate me today.

I sat beside her and kept a distance between us. "So, have you seen him already?"

"Nope. Negative."

I stared down the glass being flowed by the weak current where a deadpan stare reflected beside china's determination to see who's who on the river.

"Oi tax-robber, you should be working and protecting the city, right? Why are you still here?"

"Shut up china, I'm still staring down at my woman."

Those eyes that reflect a clear blue sky expressed a flabbergasted sharp curiosity on me. "You can see her!?" The interval of our eye contact didn't even last two seconds as she slipped the glimpse to check the reflection on the water. "Why are there only yours and mine on the water, then!?"

"Perhaps it's only me who can see." Her face had been painted with a what-the-hell? reaction.

Sighed. I didn't know why I waited for this very day just to see stupid china's reflection on this stupid water.

I stretched my legs and stood up. I bid a random insult farewell and felt the texture of the slippery moist grass against the soles of my shoes as I walked away.

For the last time I heard her from behind shouted "Sadist!" as if calling my attention.

I did not look back or even stop.

"I'll come back here tomorrow… so don't come here again, yes!?"

I raised my hand, gesturing I understood her warning. Except I will wake up tomorrow, will do my daily routines, and pretend I did not hear what she had said today.

Well, hoping isn't actually bad, is it?

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 **Thank you for reading "Turtle Shell" (revised ver.) Please wait for the revised version of prequel 2, "The Fall of the moon is not the end."**

 **Edit: I changed the title because that is the title of the whole series. I was planning to publish the chapters separately but remembered a rule here regarding this matter. Sorry D:**


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